Folsom Europe 2026

Words First, Then Pictures

My experience at Folsom Europe was a profoundly transformative exchange, and I want to reflect on that in more detail. I went with the goal of learning how European deaf leather communities have survived when those in the US have folded, and in exchange I taught many attendees that a confident, proud deaf leatherwoman can be part of their space.

First, a clarification: I do not identify as a woman. I identify as genderqueer, and also call myself non-binary. Because I am perceived as a woman, I allowed myself to be defined as one for the event; this let me focus on my work rather than correcting people about my gender repeatedly.

A Historic First

On Saturday evening outside Segunda Casa, I asked the deaf men around me if a deaf woman had ever attended Folsom Europe before. They agreed that they hadn’t, and one even said “I’ve been coming every year since the event began in 2003, and I’ve never seen a deaf woman here.” In twenty-three years, I was the first deaf woman to show up.

That took a moment to sink in, because I thought I’d seen another deaf woman earlier in the day. Whoever she may have been, the deaf men assured me that I was the first deaf woman they’d seen attend. They were all quite happy to see me there; I didn’t talk to every deaf person, but I did at least get to say hello to most of them, and they welcomed me because I was deaf and I was leather, and that was enough.

And it really is enough, too. The deaf community has a unique way of connecting around the world – we don’t just share the same disability, we are more like an ethnic group, and discovering each other in new places is a bonding experience. Leather can be like that, too; if I am in another state or country and run across a leather event, I know I can go and find people there like me. There’s no reason to focus on my gender at an event as large as Folsom Europe, we can connect just fine as leather people and deaf people.

A Connection Denied

Unfortunately, hearing men at Folsom definitely focused on my gender. When walking to and from my hotel, away from the hub of the weekend, I smiled gently at everyone I saw in gear. I was also wearing gear, so it was a smile of recognition – innocuous and simple, “we are the same.” Nobody smiled back.

When I had lunch at Tom’s Wurst on Sunday, I was lucky to grab a seat at an empty table. I sat alone the whole time with three seats available, as a dozen men clustered into other tables, ate standing, or sat in the beach chairs with their food perched on their laps. Only after I finished my food did someone ask if a seat was available; I stood up to leave and he smiled and sat down.

As I walked around Nollendorfkiez, ducking into Vilain Garçon, Mister B, and the rest, I was openly stared at by other Folsom attendees. I would love to say that they were looking at a hot guy behind me, that they weren’t paying attention to their gaze, or that this was all in my head. But I’ve been openly stared at before in other contexts, and I know what it feels like. I was a woman in leathers, walking alone, taking up space I have every right to take up. Some may have been surprised, others may have been disgusted, but their looks gave me the power to stand taller. The European leather community may be heavily male-focused, but the American one is not, and it has given me the dignity and defiance to walk proud in my boots regardless of who is around me.

Europe is Different

In case you wonder just how male-focused the European leather community is, let me tell you about the Austrian woman I met. I was in the volunteer area on Saturday, wearing my sash, and we were both waiting to use the restroom. She cocked her head at me and asked, “excuse me…do you have a title?” I indicated my sash and said yes, I’m the current Maryland Leather titleholder. She asked, “how?“

We talked a bit, and she had never dreamed that women could hold a title. That just wasn’t a thing in her world. She only knew of one other leatherwoman in her country, and while she attended some men’s events, titleholding wasn’t ever an option in her mind. I explained that we have dozens of titles for women and non-binary people in the US, that it’s quite natural for women to be titleholders where I’m from. But it’s not natural in Europe – in fact, there were no European titleholders present with Ms. in their title. The only exception was the lovely Miz Taylor, who is currently Blessed May Queen Munich (a drag title). In fact, I believe the only existing European titles for women are Ms. Fetish Spain and Ms. Fetish Eagle Amsterdam – I think Ms. Leather Netherlands stopped running due to COVID.

I was grateful that Joe (Mr. Leather London 2026) was also a fierce advocate for women at Folsom Europe; he invited me to an evening event especially because “there’s almost no parties for women here” and he also spoke up in the titleholder group chat to say he wouldn’t attend any events that didn’t allow all genders. Indeed, the UK seems to be a little ahead of the rest of Europe – I met both Wookie (UK Bootblack 2026) and Stuart (Fetish UK 2026) who are both men, but have gender-neutral titles. The only gendered titles still in the UK are apparently Mr. Leather London and Mr. Sportswear UK.

If all you ever see is men with sashes, of course you will be confused by a woman wearing one. I hope that talking to me opened the door a little bit – for the Austrian woman, and for other titleholders present – to realize that a more equitable leather community is possible.

Equitable Community is Required

On three out of four nights, I joined the deaf men outside Segunda Casa and chatted for hours. On Friday night, I went to the inaugural Berlin leatherdyke social, because I wanted to be around people who looked like me. I had a really good time, and there were so many gorgeous people there. But I realized I was in a lose-lose scenario: either I could be with deaf people as the only woman, or I could be with women as the only deaf person. Halfway through I nearly cried from the exhaustion and loneliness of that, but fortunately I managed to steady myself and chat with friends.

What I really needed was a deaf leather social with people of all genders. That doesn’t exist in North America right now, but I’m going to create it. Being among deaf people in a leather space brought me such joy, but I can’t fly to Europe every time I want that experience, either. The title Mr. International Deaf Leather has been usurped by a men-only group (they previously used “World” but changed around 2023), so I will go with some other name for the gathering – but I will start community building. Perhaps we’ll begin with virtual and then go in-person, we’ll see. This has been my intention for a couple of years now, and this experience absolutely confirmed it is necessary.

I will also continue teaching access and inclusion to the hearing leather community as much as possible, because we need to have space at hearing events too. During a conversation about the strength of the European deaf leather/fetish community, we discussed gender, and Stuart was called over so we could ask about his gender-neutral title. The conversation turned toward accessibility, and he said he’d like to find interpreters for UK contests, but he didn’t think it was possible to get someone who could handle the subject material. I assured him that I know BSL interpreters who could do it – hopefully we can make that happen in the near future. It’s my job to make change happen for deaf leather people, that’s why I ran for my title, that’s my work.

Ending with Gratitude

I need to thank a few people for making all of the above possible.

COMMAND MC, thank you for supporting me as your 2026 titleholder, and giving me the ability to run off to Germany for this work. You have made being a deaf person with a hearing title an easy experience and I am grateful.
Brian (Mr. Deaf Fetish Germany 2025), thank you for telling me to skip the event in Paris and come to Folsom Europe instead. You were absolutely right, and the administrative work you did to ensure I and the other deaf titleholders were included made my event go so smoothly. It brings me joy to call you a friend.
Finn (IPOL 2026), Astrid (IMsBB 2026), and Akasha (IMsL 2026), thank you for hanging out with me, laughing with me, and hugging me. Having such dear friends there was honestly the best part, even if we weren’t together at any given point, I knew you were in Berlin and therefore I was never alone.
And of course, my wife and my Sir, thank you for letting me gallivant off to Europe. I missed you and I’m glad to be home.

And finally – I am very glad I got to attend with the Maryland sash around my shoulders. I think if I had won IMsL this year, I would have been pulled in a dozen different directions, and not had the conversations and experiences I needed to have. But my work isn’t done, so stay tuned…my step-aside is two months away but there’s much more to come.